Chapter 6: Engagement In Action
When we understand the essential role that engagement plays in communicating with others and recognize how vital the discipline of serving is to connecting with people, we are well-positioned to hone our ability to practice the second component of The Wordsmith’s Wheel. Remember, engagement is about more than simply connecting; it’s about intentional, meaningful communication. As we explore this further, we will focus on three layers of engagement: settings, tools, and principles.
As we dive into the first layer, it is interesting to note that Jesus, the great wordsmith, communicated in all four settings throughout John chapter 2. He communicated personally with His mother, professionally with the servants, publicly with the merchants and money changers, and pastorally with the disciples and religious leaders. For the next few moments, we will examine each of these settings, consider how Jesus navigated them, and reflect on what it means for our communication.
Layer #1 (Settings): Where You Engage
1) Personal (Driven By Relationship): Is there any type of exchange more personal than a conversation between a mother and her son? We must be careful not to make assumptions about what “would have” or “could have” happened if any details of the Bible were different. At the end of the day, God is sovereign and all-knowing, and His understanding far exceeds our limited comprehension. However, it is intriguing that Jesus’ first miracle occurred only after being encouraged by His mother. There are certain levels of engagement and connection that can only take place in the context of personal, loving relationships where credibility has already been established. For us, these relationships are often the easiest in which to build engagement and connection because we have already developed a history with the person we are talking to. However, if trust is broken in these relationships, they can quickly become the most difficult in which to regain credibility.
2) Professional (Driven By Goals): Directly following a personal exchange with His mother, Jesus shifts to action. While His words were still compassionate and loving, it was very clear that He had a mission to accomplish in His connection with the servants. They worked together with a common goal: solving the problem of running out of wine. In these types of environments, the relational dynamic will likely look vastly different than it would in a conversation with a mother or best friend. Whether in a boardroom or a weekly staff meeting, building engagement and connection will look slightly different. Rather than being driven by an established relationship, engagement in these settings is driven by a shared motivation to accomplish a specific goal.
3) Public (Driven By Persuasion): Jesus engaged in public speaking in a variety of contexts and environments. More often than not, He was delivering a sermon to a specific audience, often followed by a visible demonstration of putting His words into action. In the case of His actions outside the temple in John chapter 2, we see a slight departure from the gentle, gracious Jesus we may be accustomed to. Not only was He at the temple, but He was there during Passover—perhaps one of the busiest times of the year. In the midst of this highly public setting, Jesus went straight to the heart of His mission, seeking to purge the space of anything dishonoring to God. For us, public speaking is unlikely to involve aggressively purging churches or other spaces with a whip of cords. Instead, we will likely be preaching sermons or presenting in front of our peers, all with the goal of persuading others to either adhere to or simply better understand our perspective on a certain topic.
4) Pastoral (Driven By Gospel): This chapter culminates in Jesus clearly communicating His reasoning for His seemingly unprovoked actions. He artfully pushes past the noise to help both His followers and His detractors understand that He came for far more than a building. When He spoke of the temple being torn down and rebuilt in three days, He was not referring to the physical structure. He was speaking of Himself—He would be crucified (torn down) and then resurrected (rebuilt) on the third day. Even if you are not a licensed minister, you are called to have pastoral conversations. While personal conversations—the first type discussed in this brief section—may sound similar, the key difference lies in the end goal. In personal conversations, more often than not, there is no ultimate goal; it is simply about enjoying each other’s presence. However, while many pastoral conversations also involve enjoyment, they always have a clear objective: to point the person you are speaking with to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Layer #2 (Tools): How You Engage
Once we have a general understanding of the setting in which we are communicating, we can then use discernment in utilizing one or more of the five tools that will help us engage with others. In Part One of this book, we briefly discussed how Jesus could develop empathy at a level we could never hope to achieve, as He already has an intimate understanding of every fiber of our being. The same is true for engagement. Remember: He is God, and He created you. He knows how to speak to you in a way that allows for immediate connection and engagement. Despite this, we still see Him utilizing many of these tools in His conversations during His earthly ministry. Since we do not possess the gift of omniscience as God does, we must trust His Spirit to guide us in determining the appropriate use of each tool.
1) Storytelling: Have you ever been around a master storyteller—someone who effortlessly captures your attention, whether sharing a humorous or serious narrative? While every story contains unique elements, there is a five-step structure that, when applied, can significantly enhance our ability to communicate effectively:
Hook: At the onset of any story, it is essential to draw people in. Why should they want to hear your story? A great hook could be a rhetorical question, such as, “Have you ever had a day when something you dreamed about finally came true?” This establishes a foundation of relatability. Everyone has dreams, and hearing that yours may have been fulfilled gives them hope for their own.
Setting: Once you capture your audience’s attention with the hook, engage their remaining four senses (sight, touch, taste, and smell). Paint a vivid picture with words: Who was there? What season was it? Were you eating something especially delicious that day? Do not be afraid to be expressive. If people can see, touch, taste, and even smell the story, they are more likely to stay engaged.
Conflict: What was the primary obstacle you faced on the day your dream finally came true? How did you feel in that moment? Everyone experiences challenges on their journey toward fulfilling their dreams, so sharing your struggles adds credibility and authenticity to your story.
Resolution: Now is the time to bring the pieces together and share how your dream was fulfilled. What did it feel like? What did you learn from the challenges you faced? While this example uses a positive outcome, not all stories must be lighthearted—what matters most is that they are engaging.
Application: Finally, clarify why you are telling this story. How does it connect to the rest of your speech or conversation? As long as your “why” is clear, you will have a much greater chance of maintaining your audience’s engagement.
2) Humor: You do not have to be a comedian to effectively utilize humor in your communication. While not everyone is naturally gifted with the same level of comedic ability, there are three key elements that, when used well, can help put your audience at ease through laughter and joy:
Authenticity: The most important aspect of humor is being yourself. If you are not great at telling jokes, then do not force them. However, if you are good at being self-deprecating (without taking it too far), lean into that. The quickest way to break connection is through inauthenticity, so be yourself!
Timing: Pacing is one of the most crucial aspects of humor, and some people naturally excel at it. Humor can be used to bring lightness and brevity to a serious situation or to refocus people’s attention before entering a deeper moment. Take time to consider your timing and whether it is the right moment to incorporate humor.
Familiarity: If you struggle with being funny, one of the best strategies is to highlight shared experiences or common situations and point out their silly inconsistencies. Oftentimes, the funniest things are the simplest, most relatable ones!
3) Vulnerability: People want to hear from real people. Unfortunately, many believe they must showcase only their victories. While people may admire your strengths, they will connect with your struggles. When choosing vulnerability, it is important to strike a balance. Your setting should determine the level and manner of vulnerability you display. A professional setting and a personal setting require different expressions of vulnerability, but in both cases, you should always remain authentic.
4) Encouragement: In a world filled with discouragement, a simple word of encouragement can make a profound impact. As previously mentioned in this book, it is important to remember that kindness should never be used solely to maintain someone’s attention—that would be manipulation, which should be avoided at all costs. Our motive in offering encouragement should be to express and communicate the love of Jesus Christ. If you struggle with knowing how to encourage someone, the approach is simple: Find something you genuinely appreciate about them, and tell them!
5) Commonality: This is one of the simplest tools for building connection—talk about something they can relate to. As discussed in Part One of this book, we can only do this effectively if we have first developed understanding through practicing empathy. If they are interested in sports, it may be beneficial to talk about your experience in athletics. If they love music, take some time to discuss your favorite bands. When someone feels they are speaking with a person who shares their experiences, it provides a deeper foundation of relatability upon which to build connection.
Layer #3 (Principles): Reminders As You Engage
Now that we have developed a basic understanding of the settings for connection and the tools we can use to build engagement, we are almost ready to start connecting with others. However, before we do, there are five key principles to keep in mind—essential reminders that apply regardless of the setting we are in or the tools we are utilizing.
1) Understand (Start With Empathy): Connection begins with understanding. You cannot engage meaningfully without first developing empathy and awareness of who you are speaking to. This was covered earlier in the book, but it bears repeating: understanding others is foundational to communicating with them effectively. Whether in public or private, using humor or storytelling, your approach will only be effective if you know who you are speaking to. In public speaking, it may not be possible to have personal knowledge of every person in the audience. In these cases, focus on understanding the leaders and influencers in the room. This can be done by applying the practices discussed in Chapter Three of this book.
2) Utilize (Maximize Available Resources): Whether in personal conversations or in public speaking, make use of the tools and resources around you. Visual aids, objects, and even your own body language can help emphasize your points. Jesus exemplified this when He used the water pots at the wedding in Cana to perform His first miracle—engaging His audience with what was readily available. No matter the setting, the most effective elements of communication are those that are equally accessible to everyone in the room. Do not overcomplicate things to the point that you lose your influence. Instead, relax and build connections using what is already at hand.
3) Untangle (Simplify The Complex): To engage effectively, you must make complex topics easy to understand. This idea will be explored in greater depth in Part Three of this book, but for now, developing a simple framework for clarity is essential. For example, the book you are currently reading organizes weighty concepts into smaller sections to make them more digestible.
To communicate clearly and untangle confusing topics, it is essential to:
Study: Deeply understand the content you are sharing.
Simplify: Break it down into smaller, actionable steps or ideas.
Synthesize: Connect the truth you are sharing with the reality your audience is experiencing.
4) Uncover (Point Out Elephants): People appreciate honesty and authenticity. Addressing topics that others might avoid demonstrates vulnerability and builds trust. Humor can often ease the tension of awkward subjects, making them more approachable and relatable. Be willing to share personal, imperfect moments that highlight your humanity and create a connection with your audience. If you are willing to "point out the elephants in the room," your bravery will foster trust with those who are listening.
5) Unlock (Clarify Action Steps): Engagement becomes transformative when people have something to act on. Jesus demonstrated this by involving the servants at the wedding in Cana and by entrusting His disciples with ministry responsibilities. He did not just share wisdom—He gave people opportunities to apply it. People crave purpose and direction. Providing practical steps or actionable insights empowers them to apply what they have learned. Action ties your words to their hands, making your message more memorable and impactful.
Engagement: The Bridge of the Wordsmith
Mastering the art of communication requires intentionality, wisdom, and a commitment to both clarity and connection. As we have seen through Jesus’ example, true engagement is not just about speaking but about discerning the setting, choosing the right tools, and anchoring everything in principles that reflect His heart. The Way of the Wordsmith is not merely about eloquence—it is about crafting messages that resonate, transform, and inspire action. When we approach communication with empathy, authenticity, and purpose, we reflect Christ—the ultimate wordsmith—who deeply engaged with everyone He spoke to. As we continue this journey, may we refine our words, align our hearts with His, and use our voices to build bridges for others to walk on.
