Chapter 1: From The Well, To The World
There are few experiences more painful than feeling misunderstood. This is why, at the outset of sharpening our communication, it is essential to understand the importance of empathy. To empathize is to seek to understand the experiences and feelings of the person you are speaking to. What you want to say will likely have minimal impact if you do not understand who you are speaking to.
Even though Jesus is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, He has an intimate understanding of the human experience. Rather than being a distant king seated on a faraway throne, He willingly placed Himself in our situation. He put on skin and bone, was born in a lowly manger, and lived a life filled with pain and devoid of worldly accolades. Jesus, the great wordsmith, is the greatest example of empathy we could ever imagine.
Many moments throughout the Gospels reveal this to us, but one of the most striking examples is this conversation He had with an unsuspecting woman:
“A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” They went out of the town and were coming to him.” (John 4:7-30 ESV).
This woman was a Samaritan. In her time, Samaritans were viewed as inferior, often dismissed as half-breeds by the Jewish people. Jesus’ young Jewish disciples would have preferred to avoid traveling through Samaria altogether. Yet, in His grace, God pursues those whom others overlook. The people who feel the most misunderstood are precisely the ones Jesus came to rescue.
His pursuit of the woman at the well illustrates his understanding of her plight. He is not a distant Jewish teacher detached from her reality. Instead, He makes it clear that He deeply understands her situation. To fully appreciate the presence and significance of empathy in this exchange, let us examine what unfolds at the well.
For the purpose of this writing, the “well” at the center of Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman will serve as a metaphor for you and me seeing Jesus for who He truly is, as He accepts us where we truly are. The well is where God prepares us for what He wants to do through us in the world. Our ability to connect and communicate with others must begin with a moment of connection with God, the great wordsmith.
So, what does Jesus give us at the well?
1. Forgiveness
How do we know this Samaritan woman needed forgiveness? First, we know she required forgiveness because she is human. Every person who has ever lived is in need of forgiveness. From the moment we are born, we are separated from God due to the original sin of Adam and Eve. As Scripture reminds us,
“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23 ESV).
This universal need is why Jesus came—to live the life we could not live, die the death we deserved, and rise again to offer us eternal and abundant life.
Second, we see that this woman had lived a life marked by blatant disobedience. While we do not know the full details of her story, we know she had been married five times and was now living with a man who was not her husband. Her circumstances might have been shaped by abuse, tragedy, or other complexities we cannot fully understand. Yet Jesus does not require her to leave her current situation before engaging her in conversation. Instead, He meets her right where she is and reveals the purpose for his coming.
Forgiveness is the first thing Jesus offers us. So, what do you need to be forgiven of? Beyond the universal reality of sin, what specific burden or barrier is preventing you from fully embracing God’s purpose for your life? Whatever it is, Jesus understands and is ready to extend His grace.
2. Fulfillment
The Samaritan woman’s life reveals a deep longing for something more. Married five times and living with a man who was not her husband, she was still searching for the fulfillment that had eluded her.
For us, too, the fulfillment we long for can only be found in Jesus. In our communication with others, it is crucial to recognize that the desires they are chasing (love, worth, acceptance and security) can only be satisfied in Him. Every human being seeks these four things, often gravitating toward one as their deepest need.
Jesus meets this woman’s longing with Himself. He embodies the love we desire, affirms our worth through His sacrifice, offers acceptance through the open door of salvation, and secures us in the unshakeable reality of His love. In that moment at the well, the Samaritan woman discovers that the fulfillment she had sought in relationships was standing before her in the person of Jesus.
3. Freedom
During their conversation, Jesus contrasts the water from the well, which leaves one thirsty again, with the living water He offers, which satisfies eternally. This imagery captures the cyclical nature of the things we pursue apart from God—whether harmful thought patterns, sinful behaviors, or destructive relationships. These pursuits never truly satisfy and often leave us feeling trapped.
When the woman realizes who Jesus is, a remarkable transformation occurs. She leaves her water jar, a symbol of her past pursuits, and runs into the city to share the news about Him. The very thing that once symbolized her thirst now becomes irrelevant in light of the freedom she finds in Jesus.
In the same way, Jesus offers freedom to us and to those we communicate with. Freedom from destructive habits, freedom from shame, and freedom to embrace the life God has for us.
4. Focus
When she leaves her water jar and goes into the city, her singular priority is to tell others about the man who knew everything she ever did and loves her anyway. Can there ever be a greater definition of empathy than that? Meeting Jesus brings clarity and purpose. Suddenly, her past no longer defines her, and the most important thing becomes sharing the Good News.
This focus is transformative. When we recognize Jesus for who He truly is, our priorities shift. The worries and stresses of life lose their grip as we center our attention on sharing the hope we have found in Him. This is the power of empathy. Understanding others begins with the recognition that Jesus understands and empathizes with us.
Conclusion
The encounter at the well is a profound demonstration of Jesus’ empathy and the transformative power of His presence. He offers forgiveness, fulfillment, freedom, and focus—gifts that not only change our lives but also shape our ability to connect with others. As we seek to improve our communication, let us first sit at the well, internalizing the truth of how deeply Jesus understands and empathizes with us. From that place, we can extend the same grace and understanding to others, becoming vessels of His love in a world that so desperately needs it.
